Welfare Queen Apple butter

2 lbs crab apples (can be acquired in most public parks or on any street after dark)
1 1/2 c sugar (if you can't get sugar you can us a handful of sweetener packets from the 7-11 or Dunkin donuts, then you can sell it to diabetics)
1 c water
1/4t cinnamon
1/4t nutmeg
1/4t allspice
1/4t powdered cloves(you can get these spices at the dollar store on foodstamps, right? If not try bringing a cup to the starbucks-you only need a couple shakes)

Cut off stems and flowered ends of of crab apples. the easiest way to get at all the fruit and stay away from the seeds is to cook the fruit for 45 min. and push though a fine hole colander. If you don't have one, then you can grate the flesh off with a fine grater, or cut away the flesh from the seeds and then cook the remaining ingredients in a crockpot or slowly on low heat, because if you're on welfare you've got nothing else to do-right? Save the jars from spaghetti and sterilize them and once the apple butter is thick place in jars. Trade what your kids won't eat with the neighbor welfare queen who makes soap because you know foodstamps don't buy soap! Get crafty and make some artsy labels and sell some at the local farmers market if the fancy bitch who runs it will let you because this shit is organic! Then maybe you can have some bus fare or some birth-control if baby's daddy comes at you again when the rent is due.

Bialy Barszcz and Zupa Ogorkowa

Dear Anais
These two recipes are more for Mure really, than for you. Not that you don't enjoy them, but she has really taken to enjoy them. I know that in Colorado you probably can't find a good loaf of bakery rye bread and some Krakus ham to enjoy these soups with, but a good smoked ham sandwich might do. The white borscht takes a little advanced preparation, but as much as you love science I don't see this being a problem for you. It too is a creamy sour soup like the pickles soup.

Zupa Ogorkowa
or Pickles soup
6c Water
1 Veg Bullion cube
1/2 c pickle juice
4 large barrel pickles chopped (do not use sweet pickles YUCK!)
2 1/2 c cubed potatoes
2 Tb flour
1 c Milk
1/4 c Sour cream
2 Tb butter
2 Tb chopped fresh dill

Combine the water veg cube , pickles, and potatoes and bring to a boil. Simmer 10 minutes. Combine flour and milk, and slowly and to the broth. Add the butter at the end. Add chopped fresh dill and sour cream for garnish/flavor.
Notes: Fresh barrel pickles are the best, but if you do not have these in your area a refrigerated dill pickle will be the closest substitute.


Bialy Barszcz
White borscht
2c wheat flour
water
veg bullion or veg stock
1/2 c dried mushrooms
2 cloves garlic crushed
2 potatoes cubed

Scald 2c whole wheat flour with boiling water pouring in enough to get a thin dough. When it cools add 1 3/4 pints luke warm water and place a piece of whole wheat bread crust in it. Pour into a glass jar, tie with gauze and leave in a warm place for 3 days. Cook 1 3/4 pints of vegstock with dried mushrooms and add 3/4 pints white borscht to the hot stock. Do not strain. Add more white borscht if not sour enough. Add crushed garlic cloves and potatoes. Salt to taste. It is traditional to serve with half a boiled egg and a pork sausage (like a banger). I think it would taste well with chopped bacon or rye crip crackers and spready cheese. It is usually served at Easter time and it can be made with rye flour too.

witches brew

Dear Anais,
You have by now returned to Colorado without me. But while you were here we made this delicious dish together; witches brew. I found this recipe on another blog- The art of manliness. I love this blog! If you are a fella, you must get thee to it. But I digress, this recipe was posted there. Nearly all the recipes required sausage bacon or ground beef (and this one was no exception) but you could easily modify this a million different ways for low fat or vegetarian tastes. I think you could even add greens to it and it would taste delish. Maybe the title itself implies throwing whatever the witch has on hand in the pot? We gobbled up this simple dish in two days, and I only modified it slightly (my mods are in red text).

Witches Brew

1 package precooked bacon
1 pound grass fed beef
1 cup diced celery
1 cup diced onion
1 large can 28 oz tomatoes
1 large can kidney beans
1 can mushrooms, undrained
1 bag egg noodles dumpling
3 gloves garlic minced

My instructions are a little more involved that the manly ones given of brown beef, drain fat, throw all in the dutch oven at 350 oven for one hour. I recommend thus; crisp bacon in microwave oven per package instructions, set aside to cool. Brown the ground beef in a skillet take some of the reserve fat and use it to saute the onions garlic and celery. When they are translucent throw everything in the pot and let simmer for a half hour or as long as you can go without the delicious aroma killing you! While the cauldron bubbles, cook the bag of egg noodles. Serve over the noodles-YUM!

Notes: You can make endless variations with this dish, but some starters might be with ground pork, white beans, and some collard greens? Or even you could go all veg with some boca crumbles, bacon bits/smoke flavor and black beans? How about ground chicken , cannelini beans, some spinach and ditalini for a fantastic fagioli? Now you and Daddy can eat this at least once a week...I think you could even do it up in the crock pot!

Tajin salsa

This recipeI am not writing to Anais, as she is here with me!!! Hooray!

She helped me come up with this delicious salsa.

1/2 c finely diced jicama

1/2 c finely diced mango

2 cloves garlic, shredded or minced

1/2 c onion finely diced

one packet tajin seasoning (or roughly 1 teaspoon I think, if you have it in the jar)

1 tsp finely chopped cilantro

I can diced tomatoes and green chiles (I used store bough, but rotelle will also work)

Combine and serve with fine Mexican style chips (no, Tostidos or Doritos are not in that category! Be adventurous, try it with blue corn or something.)

Shrimp toast, potato salad and soup of life.

Meme's shrimp toast

5 oz old english cheese spread

1 stick butter

1 Tb mayo

1/2 tsp garlic powder

14 oz can shrimp drained

1 package 6 english muffins

Chop shrimp and mix all ingredients. Spread on 1/2 muffin. Then cut muffins into triangles and place on cookie sheet. Broil 3 minutes or until bubbly.

Meme's potato salad

potatoes

bacon

hard boiled eggs

mayo

salt & pepper

chop potatoes and boil gently in salted water 8-10 minutes

strain the potatoes and place in a marge bowl to cool

boil eggs in heavily salted water for 7 min

while frying bacon until crispy

peel and chop eggs, chop bacon

salt and pepper the potatoes, add eggs and bacon

coat with enough mayo to make moist

serve slightly warm

Delish!

Mure's Thai soup of life

one inch peeled ginger, grated

12" piece lemongrass (optional)

2 cloves garlic (optional) grated

4 oz chopped extra extra firm tofu

1 cube vegetable bullion

1 leek sliced in rings (can sub green onions)

1 tsp wakame (optional)

2-3 TB fresh basil chopped

4 c water

1 block glass noodle

wedge of lemon

Throw everything in the pot but the glass noodle and basil, and bring to a boil. Simmer for 5 minutes. Then add the glass noodle, simmer for an extra 5 minutes. Remove from heat add basil and serve with wedge of lemon.

Notes:Mure fashioned this soup after a trip to Dharma garden for her birthday dinner. I have been addicted to this soup for weeks. I am convinced it has given me vitality and peace of mind-All from a bowl of soup! Mure has come a long way from a girl who could burn water.

Vegetarian Pot Pie, Shephard's pie and Baked Apples

Dear Anais,
This first recipe is one that I have stolen out-right from your Pepe. I imagine when Meme was sick with the cancer he got real good at making fast and tasty meals to serve them when he came home from working hard all day. This was one that he shared with me. Now this recipe calls for a premade pastry pie shell. If you purchase one from your usual grocer in the freezer section it is generally made with lard and tastes terrible. If you can purchase one from a health food store, or make one yourself it is always going to taste better. If you are in a hurry, don't beat yourself up, sometimes convenience wins. I know daddy got you that new mixer for xmas, so maybe you could look up a quick pie crust recipe and make one from scratch.

Vegetarian Pot Pie

2 premade pastry pie shells
1 can cream of mushroom soup (cream of celery or cream of chicken work well also)
1 can vegall, drained
1 can chicken for a meat variation-optional
pepper

Poke holes in one of the pastry shells with a fork and bake according to directions (or bake if from scratch) leave other pie shell out up-side down over a sheet of waxed paper to thaw. While shell is cooking combine all other ingredients on a bowl. After shell is cooked fill with ingredients, sprinkle with pepper. Carefully remove thawed pie shell from tin and place over filled pie and seal. Cover the edges of the pie with aluminum foil so they won't burn. Bake according to instructions on shell package and serve.

Shepherd's Pie

1 pastry pie shell
1/2 package morning star farms beef crumbles (or 1 lb ground sirloin for a meat variation)
2Tb beer
1 package brown gravy mix
1/4 tsp black pepper
1 small can chopped peas and carrots,drained
1 small can corn,drained
4 servings instant mashed potatoes

As above, precook the pie shell according to the pie instructions. I know that a lot of Shepherd's pie recipes do not call for crusts at all (like the one served at the Abbey pub-YUM!), but it is so much easier to serve people when the beef isn't flying out of the bottom and I have already told you how I feel about taking hot crocks out of the oven. Heat up the beef crumbles and follow the instructions for the brown gravy. Usually something like stir it up and ad 1/3 c water. You can make your own gravy with a tsp of Better than bullion or soy sauce and some cornstarch, but I am LAZY! Add in the beer ,black pepper, peas and carrots. Once that is all Incorporated and slightly thickened place it in the shell. Top with the can of corn. Top all of this with some instant mashed potatoes and cover the edges with foil so they wont burn. I don't think I need to go into the details of doing that when it should say so on the package,and the ease of the meal is ruined if you make them from scratch. But if you really wanted to you could make it all from scratch from the ground up, put the potatoes on with a frosting tip, brown them with egg whites and make it look fit for long-shanks himself. Even then I don't think the taste would be too much improved, AND it would still hop off the table to be eaten in about 20 minutes tops! I digress, bake the darned thing according to the shell or roughly 375 for 20 min or until heated thru and serve.

Baked Apples (or dinner with Henry Miller)

1.5 apples per guest (any kind will do, but baking apples-you want them to soften)
roughly 4 veggie or pork sausages per guest (I prefer johnsonville maple or brown sugar flavored)
cinnamon
1 bag of cholesterol free egg noodles
margarine or butter
dry dill

Core apples. I make a square incision on the top and then a smaller square on the bottom and push through to the other side. Place apples in a lipped cookie sheet or casserole dish. Put a sausage in every apple, sprinkle the top with cinnamon. Place the leftover sausages on the side of the pan next to the apples. Bake at 375 for 30-40 min or until the apples have split and are soft. While apples are baking boil noodles, drain cover with margarine or butter and sprinkle with dill. When serving apples, slice them in half and cover with margarine or butter-eat with noodles and fight over sausages-YUM!

French Onion Soup, Cabbage Roll Stew,Potato Pancakes, Kale Soup, Chicken and Dumplings

Dear Anais,


As you know you have always been an unusual child, but the only one I knew who could eat onions like apples. I think this is a trait from your Grandmother as it is said when she was pregnant and living in Denver she would only patronize one pizza parlor reputed to have raw onion slices on the top of their pizzas! I am not at all surprised that you should adore french onion soup so much. I have heard that this recipe I am including is some long lost relative of a Moosewood cookbook recipe. The Moosewood is a fine vegetarian restaurant located in Ithaca,NY ironically the exact location of the first Rainbow gathering your daddy took me to. I didn't get to go to the restaurant, but I did get to swim in the buttermilk falls and had a fantastic time on my first cross country motorcycle trip. So here is my version of the soup;





French Onion Soup





3Tb margarine or olive oil


4 lg onions coarsely chopped


1 tsp salt


1/2 tsp dry mustard


dash of thyme


5c water


1 Tb better than bullion veg (you can use reg veg bullion, but this particular bullion has a nice beefy/brown flavor that adds more authenticity to the soup I would really try not to skip it)


2Tb soy sauce (make sure yours does not have msg)


2 Tb beer (any kind will do, but the stouter the better, let daddy treat himself to a Guinness)


dash of white pepper


pumpernickel bread


smoked provolone





This soup is perfect for a dutch oven, but in a large soup pot warm your margarine or olive oil. Add your onions and salt. Cook them at a medium high heat until they have *sweat*. Not until they are translucent, but are well coated in the oil and are starting to look glossy. Add all other ingredients. Partially cover the pot and let simmer for 30 minutes. It can depend upon the onion (as either white or yellow make a suitable soup) but the cook time is just until the onions are tender. When the soap is ready to serve toast your pumpernickel and cut or tear into pieces, cover with smoked provolone and serve soup over the bread and cheese and eat when it has melted.





Notes: Now some of you die hards will proclaim that mozzarella must go on top. I concede that provolone is not the standard, but smoked provolone tastes so darned good! Just try it and tell me you haven't converted! Also, I know most of you will want to put the cheese on top and purchase special little soup crocks to put under the broiler for this soup. Don't do it! After having crocks explode, splashing soup on myself and little kids burning themselves on the side of a soup crock-forget it. Leave that kind of thing to the restaurants. When you are at home put the cheese under and it will taste just as delicious even if the presentation is not as grand.

This next soup is so easy that you can make this for you and daddy any day of the week in no time flat! It also would be super to throw in the crock pot and turn on while you are at school and come home to for dinner.

Cabbage Roll Stew

1 package shredded cabbage (don't shred it yourself to be cheap-this defeats the ease of the dish here. I know it would be cheaper, but really hard on the back, and if you want to make it super easy, then just buy the package and consider it money paid to yourself for making a healthier choice)
1 large can chopped tomatoes (make sure there are no added spices, just plain)
1/2 c instant rice or 1 c precooked leftover long grain rice (no parboiled)
1/2 package boca meat crumbles (you can ground 1 LB ground beef for a meat alternative)
1 cube veg bullion

Throw all in a pot. Fill tomato can with water add that too. Simmer on med for 30-40 min until all is tender. Stir occasionally to make sure it won't burn. If it gets too thick add more water. Serve with a generous amount of pepper and a pad of butter/margarine on top.

Notes: As I said earlier this would make a perfect crock pot dish, it would be great to come home to. Just serve with a great hunk of crusty rye bread. Unless you are Polish or Ukraininan you probably are not familiar with cabbage rolls (golabki/holubtsi) which would be a staple or treat in your house. I am TERRIBLE (for shame!!!) at making this delicious and back breaking meal, so this is my cheat. And if you are going to break your back,you might as well make some potato pancakes too...

Gramma used to tray and be lazy and make hers in the blender but they never came out very well. And I would make the from homemade shredding them myself, and putting them in salted water to keep them from turning black, straining them and then frying them, but they always came out so greasy and sometimes the potatoes were not cooked all the way in the middle. I guess you could say potato pancakes were something our family traditionally loves to eat, but we are not good at cooking them. But then I found this recipe, and though it is not mine (it purportedly came from a manufacturer of potato flakes) I think it is better than all our family flops.

Lazy Ass Latkes

3/4 c flour
1 1/4 c instant mashed potato flakes
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
2 1/2 c milk (soy works very well)
2 eggs
1/4 c finely diced onion (green, chive, or yellow)
2Tb oil (safflower or other high temp oil for frying)

Mix up the dry, add the wet, fry up!

I have heard this next soup bears an obnoxious resemblance to a soup they serve at the olive garden, but mine is all vegetarian and is low fat.

Kale Soup

1 bunch kale
1Tb olive oil
1 onion diced fine
3 cloves garlic chopped fine
1/2 package morningstar farms sausage crumbles or 4 links boca Italian sausages crumbled or 1/2 package morningstar farms ground beef crumbles +1tsp fennel seed
4 med sized red potatoes thinly sliced or shaved
1 c milk
4 c water
1 cube veg bullion (no msg w/ sea salt)
1 dash red chile flakes

Heat olive oil saute onions for 5 min de-rib and chop kale into bite sized pieces. Add kale and garlic to the mixture until fully wilted. Add the remainder of ingredients simmering 15 minutes or until potatoes are tender, or start to break when you stir roughly. Serve with grated Parmesan.

This next recipe is really a misnomer. I have not put real chicken in the chicken and dumplings recipe for a long time, but try telling your friends you have invited them of for veg'n and dumplings they don't look nearly as enticed as they did before no matter how hard you explain it away. I mean really, let's be frank, does fooling a flesh eater really carry the same sort of sin as fooling a vegan? So even thought I generally don't serve this with poultry I have always called this chicken and dumplings and probably always will.

Chicken and Dumplings

1 large onion
2 cloves garlic
1/c carrot or 3-4 baby carrots chopped
1 small can mushrooms ( you can use fresh, but first you must saute them until they are golden brown)
1 small can peas
1 small potato cubed
1 cube veg bullion
1 small bay leaf (maybe even half one)
1 tsp poultry seasoning (you can use Italian seasoning in a pinch)
2 planks Qorn crumbled or 1 can chicken for non-vegetarian variation (optional)
1 c milk
3 c water
1 Tb corn starch
1/3 c water
squirt of lemon

dumplings:
1 c flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
pinch of salt
1/2 c milk

Saute onions in dutch oven or soup making pot until dark Brown and nearly burnt (but not bunt!) to give your soup a nice golden color. Add garlic, carrots, potato and shrooms with bullion water and seasoning to simmer for 20 min. Add milk and peas and bring to a boil. Mix together your corn starch and 1/3 c water until there are no lumps. When you have a rolling boil add this in slowly stirring constantly. After 5 minutes see if this is thick enough for you. If you like it thicker repeat with another 1/3 c water and 1 TB cornstarch. Note that it will thicken some with cooling and the addition of dumplings-you don't want to make a chicken pudding! Keep it going at a low simmer while you prepare the dumplings. I usually like to do this right in the measuring cup. It does not need to be exact. I throw the dry ingredients in (flour, BP , and salt) and then swirl in the milk until it is gloppy and gluey. Then take a spoon and throw teaspoonfuls into soup pot. Make sure the soup is still boiling so they don't sink. The more BP you add the fluffier your dumplings, the less the doughier or noodlier they will be. I vary them depending on my mood. once you get them all in there, put a lid on the pot, lower the heat and simmer for 15 minutes. Squirt the lemon in there stir it around and serve!

Notes: Do not try and cheat here and by a can of vegall! If you could, believe me I would have taken the short cut. If you do the carrots will overwhelm the dish, the lentils will stand out, the celery will be out of place (it has a sort of Italian flavor with the bay leaf oddly enough) and there are too many potatoes. Also, do not be tempted to add more potatoes. The one tiny potato is just to add the little earthy flavor it imparts. The dumplings themselves are bready enough with the potato it would be starch-o-rama! Maybe I should alter the recipe for a turnip or parsnip instead-it's just that potatoes are so handy. We all have usually them in our cabinet.